"Warwick began this training a month ago in May 2009"
Testimonial Received 8th June 2009
I wanted to drop you a line to talk about the outstanding progress our
kids have made since we trained with you. As the parents of a 15-year-
old girl who was not going to school, was routinely rude, often
aggressive and in a dominant position in the house we were at our wits
end. Every day was a battle, my wife lived in fear of her. The other
children, particularly our 5-year-old daughter, were deeply traumatised
by the constant fighting and tension.
Our 15-year-old had been seeing two psychiatrists who diagnosed her with
Dyspraxia and was on two separate types of medication, but it had done
no good at all. Despite all the school support workers, social workers,
police and psychiatry her problems were becoming ever more serious and
we were rapidly approaching the point of divorce because of the
unrelenting tension. No one helped in any way, they just talked, and her
exceptional intelligence and incredible stubbornness just wore everyone
out before they made a dent in her behaviour.
Worse, our 15-year-old was not the only problem. Our 13-year-old Son was
constantly whining and getting into trouble at school. Our 5-year-old
had stopped asking questions at school and become withdrawn to the
extent that the school asked a home link worker to come and talk to us.
Our 2-year-old was throwing constant tantrums and the two younger ones
were making our evenings a misery, constantly crying and demanding more
drinks, DVD's and attention when put to bed.
The month since we trained with you has been the most rewarding
experience of our lives, although the path has been incredibly tough. It
was hard to accept that we had caused the situation we were faced with,
as all the professionals involved had very soothingly told us we weren't
at fault. It was even harder to remain calm in the face of the extreme
provocation our eldest has used to try and break us. The results speak
for themselves though.
Within two weeks the school contacted us again to talk about the
incredible improvement in our 5-year-old to say "the sparkle is back in
her eyes" and she is now happy and confidently back at the top of the
class. She has had 2p deducted in four weeks.
Our two-year-old is now as good as gold, her trips to the naughty spot
have almost disappeared and apart from the occasional penny deduction
she is practically perfect in every way.
Our 13-year-old boy is receiving all kinds of plaudits from his school,
his best ever lessons in two different subjects, commendations and his
home behaviour is a joy. No more whining and a perfect day every day.
Our eldest has been a revelation. She tried her absolute best to break
out of the new regime, using physical pushing, vile insults, refusing to
go to school any day, going out without permission, getting drunk and
saying things we never would have believed her capable of saying. Along
the way though, an amazing thing happened. We began to see our old
daughter, the smiling, generous spirited, beautiful kid we hadn't seen for
ages. She has kept up her attempts to periodically break the system
until the last three days, when she has been extremely well behaved. And
this morning, she actually got up and went to school, she went out after
school, came home on time and went to bed on time at 9.30 without
complaint. This from someone we struggled to get to sleep before the
early hours. She has not taken her medication for 6 days and yet she has
been more pleasant than we can remember. She has been out with her
friends, and has not been rude to us once.
It's been an incredible transformation, not without massive bumps in the
road, but it has been a real revelation how much of this is a game
played for attention, and once you stop playing the game, they all stop
playing it too.
My wife and I have been able to enjoy our evenings together again and we
have both learnt a lot about ourselves in the process. All the terrible
behaviour we have had being our fault was the hardest thing to face up
to, but if it isn't our fault how can we change it? We had allowed
ourselves to be talked into all this being a type of high functioning
Aspergers, when it patently is not. It's just a tantrum.
I would recommend anyone in a similar situation to talk to you. It has
been the best investment we have ever made, and without question it has
turned our family around and put my eldest in with a chance of getting
to University. We still have some way to go I'm sure but we now know how to get there.
Behaviour Change Consultancy 24 Rochdale, Harold Road, London, SE19 3TF